E-mail on a regular basis

By Unknown

Regular correspondence brings people closer. Isn't that why you decided to go online in the first place? Remember....you are in control of the flow and exchange of information, and you decide when (and if) you want to reveal your true identity.

You have been corresponding, and you have gotten at least 3 E-mails -- you should know by now whether you want to continue to get to know this person, or let this one know there is no further interest on your part. If you decide you do not want further communication, be considerate, let them know -- don't leave anybody hanging.

If you choose to continue, you need to set aside time to get better acquainted. If you have met this person on a site that offers real-time meeting, set a time when you can both be online and chat.

Note: Your place of employment is probably not the best place to have your "date."

Setting aside time in the later evening often works well, especially when there may be individuals with children or other family responsibilities.

As you begin getting to know someone better, you may wonder what information to share, and how much to share. Remember the word "F-O-R-M" and you will be well on your way to getting much better acquainted:

F - Family Who makes up your family?

0 - Occupation How do you make your living?

R - Recreation What do you do for fun and relaxation?

M - Motivation Why did you go online?

These are examples, you can expand as you feel comfortable.

**Reality Check: Do you want a long distance romance? Can either of you relocate? Is a divorced person really divorced? If you have children....are you remembering them in this venture?

As you receive correspondence from someone, you may chose to either keep it in a file on your computer, or print out the e-mail to save. As you continue to e-mail back and forth, re-read your correspondence from time to time. This gives you an opportunity to put the brakes on, keep your perspective, and look for those things that might just be too good to be true, or that simply stand out....RED FLAGS.

Some examples of RED FLAGS include:

* Someone who will not tell you their real name

* Evasiveness on simple questions

* Repeated hesitancy for phone or face-to-face contact after much e-mail correspondence

* Someone who wants to meet after the first (or very few) e-mails

* Hesitancy to provide a photo online or by mail

* Refusal to provide personal information after you have done so

* Having to call only at certain times or on certain days

* Someone wanting your address at the start

* Someone who says "I love you" before they ever meet you

* Trust your gut...if you get a bad feeling, do not proceed.

Note: Print out or keep a folder on your computer for the information they give you, so you will have it to look back at. Compare what they said to what they say down the line. By doing this, you will not only save time, but will help you how to respond back to their E-mails.

Chapter 9

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